Old McDonald's Got Some Flak...

Eee-Ay-Eee-Ay -O.

That's right!  I hereby dedicate today's post to the most ubiquitous of American dining establishments: The Fast Food Joint.

But before completely delving into this morning's post topic, let's get the part where I update everyone on my progress out of the way:

*Insert Trumpet Flare*

Yay!!  152.6!  I am so close to reaching the 10-pounds-lost benchmark that I can practically taste it!  I can already start to see the results on my body and definitely can feel the results in my clothing.  The jeans that I haven't been able to wear since March?  They fit!   The skirts I wear to work used to ride up around my waist, but they are now riding much lower on my hips.  Shirts and dresses that I couldn't button or zip a few months ago are starting to fit again.  I forgot how much I love this part of losing weight; it's like going shopping every couple weeks except without spending money. Double win.

I couldn't be happier with this morning's weigh-in (particularly since the last few days have all been 153.8 without any movement; I was starting to worry about having another Half-Hanukkah on my hands).

What I am perhaps even more pleased about than my progress so far is the way that I've still been able to go out to eat.  Like, all the time.

Now that I am a working girl, I have very little time to go grocery shopping and prepare foods at home.  I also go out to eat with my Work Besties every day--it's our one solid hour of respite from the incredibly hectic world of being plaintiff attorneys.  It's crucial that if this is going to be a lifestyle change that I still be able to go out to eat for lunch and do little-to-no cooking at home in the evenings.

But I've quickly learned that it's a lot harder to eat healthy and track calories when I'm eating at restaurants constantly.  I never know if that steamed broccoli I order on the side of my chicken is going to come out dribbling in butter, or if my salad's dressing contains more oil that the Gulf of Mexico post-BP, or how much mayo is in the "spicy" part of the spicy tuna roll, or if the the waiter thinks I am jackass for ordering the salad "with no bacon, and the dressing on the side, and the cheese on the side, and no croutons, etc. etc. etc."

I'm managing it.   But it's hard.

Do you know what's not hard?  Tracking calories and losing weight while eating at fast food establishments. 

Fast food is awesome.   Just about every single place posts their nutritional information so there's no guesswork. And just about every single place has literally dozens of combinations of menu items that make a very tasty and very calorically friendly meal.

Now, I am going to stop short of saying that fast food is "healthy."  It's probably not.  Or maybe it is.  Really, I don't care.  I never promised anyone that my weight loss journey was about being healthy.  This is vanity, pure and simple.   Anyone who is even slightly familiar with this blog knows that.   Let's face it: I advocated drunkenness and dehydration as a way to break a diet plateau--that's not healthy.

As an experiment, I decided to see what kinds of delicious fast food combinations I could make while staying under 500 calories.

I'd like to say right off the bat that it is incredibly difficult to find as-is menu items at sit-down restaurants for under 500 calories; they almost all require significant modification (dressing on the side, no cheese, etc. etc.)  This makes waiters hate you. And makes your dining companions realize you're a psycho control freak.   Meanwhile at fast food places, I can just order items exactly the way they come (or with a normal modification--"I said plain cheeseburger! plain!") and stay well within the 500 calories allotted.

Taco Bell:
One soft chicken taco, one soft beef taco, and an order of Mexican rice: 490 calories.
Steak gordita supreme and black beans and rice: 470 calories.
Doritos Loco taco and Double Decker Taco: 490 calories

I'll just stop now. There are literally dozens and dozens of options at the TB that fit the bill.  They even have a "fresco" menu for the severely diet-conscious, but I don't like my TB watered down.

Wendys:
Junior Cheeseburger and Apple Slices: 330
Ultimate Chicken Grill and Apple Slices: 430
Spicy Chicken Go Wrap and Apple Slices: 380
Small Chili, Small Fry, Side of Shredded Cheese: 510 (alright, not technically 500 or under, but I triple-dog-dare you to find chili cheese fries anywhere for only 510 calories).

I must say though, Wendy's has plenty of solitary items under 500, but it's pretty difficult to have more than 1 thing and stay within the limit...unless you get apple slices. But, I'm sorry, at a fast food place, who actually wants apple slices??

Arbys:
Turkey Classic and Jr. Roast Beef (two sandwiches!!): 500
Jr. Roast Beef and 2 Potato Cakes: 440
Jr. Roast Beef and Children's Curly Fries: 450
Jr. Roast Beef and 2 Piece Chicken Tenders: 440

Be not afraid of the children's options at Arby's; they allow for plenty of mix-and-matching.   There are also lots of adult options under 500, but again, you'd only get 1 thing...unless you want apple slices (Arby's has 'em too).  Fuck apple slices.

I'll stop now because I am running out of time (and I am sure I'll do a Fast Food Part II post later).  But see my point?  Fast food gets a lot of flak and a lot of blame for America's weight problem.  But it's actually a lot easier to "think thin" (I won't say "be healthy") at fast food places than at just about any sit-down restaurant, ever. 

By the way, in case anyone was curious, every one of these fast-food combinations falls well under the calorie limits imposed on school lunches under the new federal guidelines.  And I bet kids would actually eat this stuff.