So last night, The H and I were sitting around watching some TV, when The H decided to order Papa John's pizza for his dinner.
Gulp.
Some of you might not know this, but there are about 3 foods in the world that I cannot resist...like, ever.
1) Without a doubt, Fettucini Alfredo. In fact, I love this dish so much that I try to make a point to not eat it (or anything slightly resembling it) while I am dieting because just having one bite of it makes me crave it for weeks. I call it a "trigger food" and it's basically off limits to me except for crazy-special events like my own birthday.
2) Cheese....it doesn't really matter what kind; I am not sure I've ever met a cheese I don't like. Fortunately, I can eat this in moderation without ruining my diet.
3) And finally: Pizza. Even crappy pizza is still pretty damn good. So I was pretty nervous when The H decided to order Papa John's. "But I'm still too fragile!" I thought as he began placing the online order.
I asked him to get me a thin-crust cheese pizza. I dutifully went to My Fitness Pal and logged in the calories for one meager slice.....230. I resolved myself to eat just this one pathetic slice and round the meal out with a salad.
Which I did.
But damn.....after having finished my plate-o-greens and my tiny little slice of pizza, I started eyeing the box which was still sitting there on the coffee-table in front of The H.
I could still smell the garlicy sauce that comes with each Papa John's pie...
....I wanted another slice, bad.
...Fuck I wanted the whole damn pizza.
...Oh who am I kidding---I wanted 10.
I was about two seconds away from reaching for another slice when all of a sudden the phone rang.
It was my mother.
I don't know if the call was an incredibly freaky case of "mother's instinct" and she just knew that at that very moment I was in need of some parental guidance, or if it was just pure coincidence but she called to discuss, of all things, my diet.
"I'd like to offer you a carrot," said the familiar and comforting voice on the other end of the phone.
"A carrot?"
"Yes......a carrot."
Somehow I knew she wasn't calling to offer me a root vegetable.
"If your weight gets down to 126, our new address (my parents recently moved to 126 Anystreet, New Orleans, LA), I will....."
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| Are you ready for this? |
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| Are ya? |
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| ARE YOU??!?! |
"....take you to New York City for a long weekend and we can see 3 Broadway shows. Your pick."
Ummm, get down to 126 pounds and take at trip to NYC?!......YES PLEASE!!!!!!
"Do I have a time limit?" I asked.
"Nope. As long as it takes. Start researching shows you might want to see."
Ho.ly. Shit. Things just got real. I love NYC. I love the Broadway. And I love my mamma.
Now I really have to stick to this. I can't give up, not with an awesome trip to NYC on the line.
Now, I still stand by the fact that I want to do this in as much time as it takes. But gosh, I couldn't help but calculate.....if I lose 1.5 pounds on average per week, it would be Christmas day when we're ready to book our trip.....
....I've always wanted to see New York in the spring......I am going to have to track down city correspondent Stefan to find out what this season's hottest clubs are.
From now on, this goal will be referred to as The Big Carrot.
And in case anyone was wondering, the next thing I did was immediately shove those menacing boxes of Papa John's in the fridge. It ain't got shit on a slice of genuine NY style pizza anyway. =)
So now everyone really has to wish me luck. My cultural development depends on it.
Oh, and mom.....I love you. =)
