Alright here's a fun game for the film buffs out there. Who knows the significance of the above picture?
Bueller?
Bueller?
It's Natalie Portman's breakfast in Black Swan. In the film, Natalie Portman's character sits down to eat the above-photographed breakfast (which appears to be a crappy poached egg and half of a grapefruit) and channels her inner-Gollum saying "It's so piiiiinnnk. And preeeeeeeettty." Like, she's actively trying to convince herself that this crap-on-a-plate is good and/or satisfying. Like, the grapefruit/egg is her Precious. And she can't share the Precious.
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| No one can share the precious. |
What does any of this have to do with anything?
Well, basically, I am having a really hard time with this diet right now. I have literally gone back and forth and back and forth and back and fucking forth again between 153.8 and 152.8 this entire week. Well, actually 8 days. A Whole Hanukkah. I have photographic proof.
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| This week has seen more "fins" than a Jimmy Buffet concert. |
But the part that kills me, is that I am not cheating!! With the exception of Friday which I admit was a day of Diet Abandonment, I have been completely steadfast in my journey. Even on Friday's Diet Abandoment Day, I would venture to guess that I only had about 1000 more calories than the 1200 limit...and 1000 calories does not equate to zero-pounds-lost for an entire week. This plateau is The Suck.
I was so convinced that I just had to shake this diabolical back-and-forth by today that I even skipped posting for the Three Week Weigh-In because I thought that by today I'd be in the clear.
I don't know what I am doing wrong! I don't really think I am doing anything wrong which is what is so frustrating. I mean, I could try eating smaller portions throughout the day to see if that keeps the metabolism up and running--this morning I had breakfast in an attempt to get into the habit and see if that helps. I have been watching sodium like crazy so I don't think that's a problem either. I just want to know that all the sacrificing, and counting, and abstaining, and everything is worth it. It's easy to get excited about a salad while everyone else is having pizza when you can see it paying off. It's a much harder sell when you can't.
Which brings me to Natalie Portman in Black Swan. For the next few days I am really going to try to hang in there and hopefully push past this 152.8 pound barrier. Even if it's hard, I will suck it up and call my food "prreeeeetttty" in the hopes of getting past this. I will look at Natalie Portman (and, for that matter, Gollum) in their emaciated glory and I will troll Pinterest for bordering-on-dangerous "Thinspo" pictures and I WILL OVERCOME!!!!!
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| Thinpso = "Thin-spiration Photo" = Shame Inducer |
I am also going to begin doing the weekly weigh ins on Tuesdays now that we're exactly 12 weeks from Christmas.
Week 3 Weigh In:
Weeks Until Christmas: 12
Goal Weight By Christmas: 130
Today's Weight: 152.8
Starting Weight: 161.8
Total Weight Loss: 9 lbs.
Current Trajectory: 1.9 pounds per week to reach goal
