Pants on Fire

This post is exactly what it's title says. No more. No less.

Pants.  On fire.

As I've said in previous posts, one thing that terrifies me about this whole journey is the fact that so many people who lose weight go on to gain all of it back and then some.

I've already fallen victim to that trap twice before.  I just want this to be the last time I ever do this.  This blogger is NOT going to be a lifelong yo-yo dieter.   

I have already actively started taking steps to make sure that this is a permanent change.  First, I have completely reversed my attitude about exercise. I used to be a grade-A couch potato. Now, exercise is simply non-negotiable.  It must be done. Forever.   I truly believe that while weight is primarily lost through diet, it is primarily kept off through exercise.  In fact, as long as I continue to work out about 1 hour per day, when I reach "maintenance mode" the number of calories I'll be allotted each day is about the same as what I would eat when I wasn't dieting at all.   I am hoping this will make a large difference in keeping the weight off.

Second, I am allowing myself to be more flexible with "cheat" meals. If this is truly a lifestyle change, there simply have to be occasional meals where pizza, pasta, and cheesiness are on the table.

Finally, in a financial and emotional commitment to keeping the weight off, I am getting rid of any clothes that I outgrow.  It will be far more difficult to slip back into my plus-size gear if I have to go out and buy new things.

So with maintenance and a lifelong change in mind, I proceeded to do what anyone else in my situation would do on a beautiful fall night:   burn the crap out of some fat pants.

I began with the size 14s.

And followed up with the size 12s.

I made the size 10s that I was wearing watch the carnage.

And it WAS a carnage.  Denim is quite flammable.

Week 13 Progress Report

Well despite my shortcomings this week, I still managed to pull off a loss:

WEIGHT: 140.0

Weekly net loss: -1.4 lbs

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS: 21.8 lbs 

So I am bummed to no not quite be out of the 140s forever, but considering what a terrible week I had, I will take it.

I'll keep this brief; I am running late for the ceremonial burning of my size 12 and 14 pants. 

Pics to come.

This Blog Is Dedicated to the Busy Bees

Holy cow it has been an incredibly busy week in the life of this Blogger.  I am not sure how many readers are aware, but I am a lawyer by day (dieter, WOP, blogger, wine aficionado, and general badass by night).

Most people think that all lawyers are busy all the time.  Luckily for me, I work in a field where I can keep very flexible hours most of the time.  It's great because it lends itself to dieting, working out, self-reflecting, and writing about it---all of which are very, very time consuming.

This week, however, was a different story.

I had a trial that was set to go on Monday. It ended up settling on the steps of the courthouse, but by the time it settled, the hard (and time consuming) part--the preparation--had all been complete.

Yeah....there's a bit more to it than that.

I suddenly have new-found respect for the millions of Americans who are busier than I am that struggle to lose weight, because let me tell you: it's really freaking hard.

Losing weight is hard enough when you've got all the time in the world to do it.  Finding the motivation to get to the gym or put down the cookies is something that, I believe, is a challenge for everyone.

But when all of a sudden your most precious commodity (time) is scarce, losing weight goes from feeling like a challenge to feeling like an insurmountable obstacle.  On Sunday, do you go to the gym or go to the office to make sure you don't get fired?  Do you take the time to put together a nutritious dinner, or do you just order a pizza so you can get some work done?   What about those people you used to hang out with....oh yeah....friends.  What about them?

Holy FUCK.  It just dawned on me: how the hell do people with KIDS do this?!?   Those poor souls....they're doomed.

Too scary to even contemplate. Run away.

Well, anyway, now that I've got everyone squarely in the "Weight Loss is SO Hard, How Does Anyone Do It?!" frame of mind, I have a confession.

......I was not great this week.

Not awful.  But not great.  Let's just say, if I don't see a net loss at tomorrow's weigh-in, I have no one to blame but myself.

I stuck with the diet plan for the most part since the last blog.

However, I had some pizza on Sunday night on the eve of the trial

.....and went to Antoine's for appetizers on Saturday to blow off some steam.....



.....and I skipped the gym twice last week because I was working so much (guiltiest face).

But I am not going to let this week be the beginning of the end for me.

No sir.   I saw the Book of Mormon last night.  And it was stupendous.   And it was just what I needed to whet my appetite for all that NYC has to offer.   And I will reach the Big Carrot.  And that's the master plan.

Back to it!

It's Been A Banner Week.

This has truly been an incredible week in so many ways.   My hometown team, the St. Louis Cardinals, is going to the World Series.   Congress got its act together an funded the government and avoided a debt default, the New Orleans Saints pulled out their 6th straight w......oh, wait, the Saints lost....that sucked.    But otherwise, it was an amazing week in the world of this blogger.

I thought it couldn't get any better.   Until.....

ZOMG-the-130s!!!!!!!

Seeing a new "decade" on the scale is so exhilarating.   I am realistic in thinking that I'll most likely see the 140s again another couple times due to natural fluctuations, but I truly hope that once I am solidly in the 130s that I never, ever, ever, ever see the 140s again.

I'm now only 3.6 pounds away from the elusive "normal weight" according to the government.

I definitely am starting to feel thinner.   I think I've lost a lot of fullness from my face, and I know I've lost 2 pants sizes.

I had to get new jeans because the old ones looked comically baggy.   I kept it cheap and scored some on sale at Old Navy because if all goes according to plan, the ones I just purchased will also be too big before long. =)

This week, I am going to honor the fall season with a bonfire. During which, I will burn my size 14 and size 12 pants and shorts and vow to never again need to purchase those sizes again.

Truly, a great a week.

Week 12 Progress Report

WEIGHT: 141.4

Weekly Net change: -1.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -20.4

 

Well, that's average.  But I'm moving right along.



 

 

 

I also got myself a treat to celebrate reaching the 20 pounds lost benchmark/halfway point to the NYC trip goal....I figured a little taste of what's in store in NYC is in order to keep me motivated.

 

Enter the national tour of The Book of Mormon:

 

 

 

That's right.  Next Wednesday, I will be among the lucky people to watch this hilarious musical romp through the world of African war lords and Mormon missionaries.  It shall be hilarious.  I believe!

 

 

 

 

 



Hey Guess What?

Whose got two thumbs and weighs 20 pounds less than she did when she started a certain diet blog?

That is all. 

Oktoberfucked

I was 142.8 for three days in a row.  I was 19 pounds down and just 1 measly pound away from reaching the big 2-0.  

I had big plans for that "20 Pounder" post.

I was gonna take pictures 20 things that weigh 20 pounds, post them to the blog, and bask in how many bags of cat litter, car tires, legos, etc. I've lost.

It was going to be gloriously self-indulgent and obnoxious.





Was.

I don't even know what happened.

Oh, wait.  Yes I do.

It's called......Oktoberfest.



Oktoberfest.   That time once a year when everyone pretends to be German by partaking in sausage, pretzels, schnitzel, strudel, sour kraut, yodeling, the Chicken dance (which I didn't realize was a German thing until yesterday), and of course large steins of bier.

Now I know what you're thinking.   "Poor Chunky Bride.  She just couldn't handle the temptation........she was completely overcome by the bevy of bavarian bites and beverages to be had and overdid it."

Nope.

This blogger actually planned ahead.   I hit the gym before the fest.  And I hit it hard. I burned over 800 calories according to the counter on the treadmill.

I ate lunch beforehand--plain grilled chicken with a tablespoon of dipping sauce.  I purposely kept it light to allow for wiggle room at the festival.

I drank wine instead of beer at Oktoberfest and for dinner I ordered the leanest thing they offered which was a simple roasted pork loin.  White meat!   And sour kraut! Which is, like, basically pickled cabbage.  I split a single pretzel with, like, three other people.

I thought I was golden.

I kept track of my calories meticulously throughout the day and by all accounts still consumed a net total of 1200 after exercise was factored in.

I thought this morning was my 20 Pounder day.

So imagine my surprise shock when I stepped on the scale this morning to be greeted with a 145.0 staring back up at me from the scale. 

What. The. F?!?!




I mean, seriously, even if I had gone completely nuts and consumed 2000+ calories at the festival, that should not translate to an OVER TWO POUND GAIN.  Something has got to be off here. 

And to make matters worse, at the gym yesterday I spent 90 minutes on the treadmill at a fairly steep incline and felt completely fine.   But then the second that I got off of it, I realized that something is definitely out of whack in my left knee.   It hurts to walk down stairs or downhill.  Well, actually, it hurts to walk at all, but it really hurts to go down stairs or downhill. 

So now I'm dealing with some inexplicable upward fluctuation and a sports injury at the same time and it royally, royally sucks.