Saturday, August 24, 2013

Pure Barre. Pure Clench.

So yesterday was one of the weirder Fridays I've experienced in a while.

Instead of enjoying a post-work Happy Hour like a normal person, I joined a couple friends at a Pure Barre class after a long walk.

Pure Barre is the yuppie exercise craze du jour.  I was fortunate enough to get to attend this class for free with a friend who is a member.  I am now beginning to rethink this friendship because anyone who can stand doing more than 1 of these classes has got to be certifiably insane.

Now, I can understand how a sane person could be lured into going to one of these classes. After all, it's advertised as a cross between ballet barre, yoga, and pilates.   Sounds fine, right?



WRONG.

Pure Barre is actually 55 minutes during which you're instructed to clench your ass as tightly as you can.  That's it.  The clenching is punctuated by a tiny little woman screaming "Just press!" "Squeeze" and "Tuck!"  Oh, and at one point they asked me to do a full body push up. While clenching.



It's that simple and that miserable.    Ya know who else clenches their asses as tightly as they can for hours on end?  Drug mules.   I now feel like I am adequately trained to be a drug mule.   If anyone out there is looking for someone to "Just Press" "Squeeze" or "Tuck" a couple grams of heroin across the Mexican border, I'm your girl.

So, as much as I enjoy the idea of having a Friday workout in lieu of Happy Hour, I don't think the Pure Clench is going to be my thing.

However, I've gotta say I must have done something right yesterday because here we are:  a new low!  Yippie.


Now I am off to nurse my sore clenching muscles before tonight's 5k!  Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. I just laughed out loud. At work. Like a crazy person. I now know never to take pure barre.

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