Week 5 Progress Report

WEIGHT: 151.2
WEEKLY NET CHANGE: -0.4 lbs.

What.

The.

Fuck!??????



Pardon my French.  But WHATTHEFUCK!?!??!?!??

I have been so good......like, SO good.

I've worked out every single day for at least an hour (some days 2)!  Alright, I skipped one time on Thursday, but otherwise I've worked out every day.

And I haven't exceeded 1300 calories....except once when I went to, like, 1450.

Still, those two teeny tiny indiscretions aside, this week should have been golden.

It's another Damaran. 

I'm gonna go cry now.

MILESTONE!

Today, a coworker noticed that I've lost weight.

That is all.

WOP Culture

Well, I did it!  First 5k done and done. 

I am a little disappointed in myself for walking the whole time except for the very end, but all in all I think it was an excellent way to ease into WOP culture.

A recap:

The H, Madame, and three other friends making their debut to the blog (let's call them Middleton, Eastergard, and Pinata) and I all arrived at the start of the 5k.  Immediately, I noticed--and very much enjoyed--the fact that most people in attendance tended to fall into 1 of 5 subcategories of WOP culture.  It turns out, not all WOPs are created equal.  

We'll do a brief rundown of each type:

1)  The Hardcores
These are the folks that I have a hard time believing are actually well-liked by anyone outside of the WOP world.  They are perfectly toned and are most likely going to run the race shirtless. They have every intention of completing all 5 of the k's at a full sprint.   They will trample a grandmother for a chance to start the race at the very front of the line.   They'll circle back around the route after already completing the race because, to them, a 5k is like a before dinner drink--it's just priming the pumps for the real workout later.  



However, even though The Hardcores are more than adequately prepared to physically run the thing, I imagine that psychologically the 5k must have been pretty tough for these folks because they actually have a chance of winning it.  The rest of the groups are there for a sense of personal achievement.  The Hardcores are there for the "W."  I wish I had stuck around afterwards to see the look on the face of the person who came in second place.  I am sure it was priceless.

2) The Pitifuls 
On the completely opposite end of the spectrum are The Pitifuls.  Just as you might see The Hardcores and think, "What are you doing here? Don't you have an Olympics or something to train for?!" you might see The Pitifuls and think "What are you doing here?  Does the hospital staff know you're out of bed?!"

There was actually a person there who completed the race on crutches.   Crutches!   There was also a lady who had to be, like, 10 months pregnant. And a chick with her arm in a cast. And a man who was about 100 years old.   And a 350 pound lady.



But I gotta say, The Pitifuls are absolutely the most inspiring and incredible of all of the subgroups of WOPs.   At first glance, you look at them and think, "You don't have a chance!"  But I am here to say that each and every one of the aforementioned "pitifuls"  kicked this blogger's ass and finished before me---well, except for the girl in the cast....I inched past her at the 11th hour.   But the point is, this is a group that's easy to stereotype and write off as not being able to do it.....and they prove the stereotype wrong.  And if they can do it, SO CAN I.

3) The Normal WOPs

This is the group that I am just not quite part of yet and to which I aspire to become.  They basically can jog the whole thing or jog most of it with breaks.   They've got great running shoes; usually in a bright color. I like to think they bust out a particularly colorful pair for races and save the more boring ones for training.   They're exactly who you'd expect to see at a charity 5k.  They probably have either done or are working up to a marathon or a half marathon.   They were probably athletes in high school and never got out of the habit of working out.





4) The Used-To-Bes
Speaking of people who were athletes in high school, another category of WOPs are the Used-To-Bes.  These are folks who either were athletes in high school and they've gotten out of the habit of working out or people who used to train for marathons or 5ks years ago, but who've been out of the saddle for a really long time.  

These guys are TOTALLY gonna kill the 5k right after these beers.

You can tell who these people are by their cocky attitude and by the fact that they begin the race at a sprightly running pace and within 3 minutes (maybe 5 if they're lucky) they are clutching their sides and walking it out and cursing the heavens swearing that they'll do better next time.  After the race, they'll have a terrific excuse for their poor performance.

5) The Posers
I think this is the group I fall into at this point.   These are the people who have not adequately trained for the race, but who are there for a vast array of miscellaneous reasons.  Maybe they showed up because all their friends were going and they didn't wanna be left out (you can tell by the fact that they showed up in flip flops).   Maybe it's a work thing.  Maybe they're curious about this whole WOP culture thing and they wanted to dive in head first.  Maybe they're just crazy.    But you can tell who they are because they will usually walk the whole thing.  Or walk part of it and then give up and head back to the finish line to enjoy the free beer.

Anyway, all told, I think that each of us who went fell somewhere along this spectrum of WOP culture.  But all snarkiness aside, we each had a great time and felt good about doing something healthy on a Saturday night.

I think I could really get into this WOP culture thing.

Pure Barre. Pure Clench.

So yesterday was one of the weirder Fridays I've experienced in a while.

Instead of enjoying a post-work Happy Hour like a normal person, I joined a couple friends at a Pure Barre class after a long walk.

Pure Barre is the yuppie exercise craze du jour.  I was fortunate enough to get to attend this class for free with a friend who is a member.  I am now beginning to rethink this friendship because anyone who can stand doing more than 1 of these classes has got to be certifiably insane.

Now, I can understand how a sane person could be lured into going to one of these classes. After all, it's advertised as a cross between ballet barre, yoga, and pilates.   Sounds fine, right?

WRONG.

Pure Barre is actually 55 minutes during which you're instructed to clench your ass as tightly as you can.  That's it.  The clenching is punctuated by a tiny little woman screaming "Just press!" "Squeeze" and "Tuck!"  Oh, and at one point they asked me to do a full body push up. While clenching.

It's that simple and that miserable.    Ya know who else clenches their asses as tightly as they can for hours on end?  Drug mules.   I now feel like I am adequately trained to be a drug mule.   If anyone out there is looking for someone to "Just Press" "Squeeze" or "Tuck" a couple grams of heroin across the Mexican border, I'm your girl.

So, as much as I enjoy the idea of having a Friday workout in lieu of Happy Hour, I don't think the Pure Clench is going to be my thing.

However, I've gotta say I must have done something right yesterday because here we are:  a new low!  Yippie.

Now I am off to nurse my sore clenching muscles before tonight's 5k!  Wish me luck!

Week 4 Progress Report

WEIGHT: 151.6 lbs

WEEKLY NET LOSS: 2.2lbs

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS SO FAR: 9 lbs

BMI: 27.7

What That Means: Inching ever closer to "normal"

Other interesting milestones:

1) Dropped a dress and pants size.

2) Exercised almost every single day this week and went on my first-ever jog.

3) Picked up my first-ever 5k bib

I've got this. 

It's Working!

Dude, exercising.

Turns out?  Totalllllllly worth it.

Look at these stats:

On both Saturday and Sunday I walked a little under 7 miles.

Monday's Weigh-In:

And yesterday I got really ambitious and decided to try jog/walking.    I downloaded a new (and much better) app called Runkeeper at the suggestion of my sister in law.  It's. Freaking. Awesome. 

 

 

It essentially functions just like Walkmeter in that it basically tracks your movements with the GPS on your smartphone and calculates calories burned based on the speed you travel, body height, weight, sex, and age. 

This one is a lot better though. It's linked to MyFitnessPal so it will input the calories burned automatically.  It keeps a much more easily accessible log of past activities. And it allows you to comment on how the walk/jog/run went for posterity.  And the map feature is way, way better.  AND IT'S FREE.  Holy awesomesauce, Batman!   

So anyway, with my new app in hand, I decided to go on a nice walk at a brisk pace.  However, about 1 mile into my walk, I realized that an incredibly creepy homeless looking dude was also walking....at a brisk pace....right by me....and talking to himself....and it didn't look like he was stopping anytime soon.

maybe he was just Hugh Jackman out on one of his urban hikes....

So, I thought about it for a second and decided to go ahead and start jogging just enough to get away from the dude. 

But then once I started, I realized that it was going to be totally obvious what I did unless I jogged long enough for the dude to mistake me for a WOP and not just think I was trying to avoid him. So I did it for as long as I could (which wasn't that long...only about 3 blocks).  And went back to walking.

And then I reached General Lee.

I stopped for a second to gaze up at the magnificent sculpture of the General.   He is facing North.  Towards NYC. The Big Carrot.  And I took a deep breath......and turned around and decided to jog a little bit more.  I told myself, "Just another 3 blocks or so. Nothing crazy."

And then it started to rain......and I had no choice but to try to get home as fast as humanly possible. So I alternated walking and jogging as much as I could (which was not a lot; I'm still a beginner).

4.5 miles in 1 hour.  Not too shabby.....definitely faster than I've ever gone before.

If I keep this up, I might stand a chance of finishing the 5k in less than 40 minutes. That's the goal.



Today's Weigh In:

9 pounds down so far.

 

And the awesomest part is that if I exercise I get to eat more! And I love eating!  It's a total win-win.

Exercise.  Go figure.  We will now celebrate with a dance party:

 

 

 

 

 



Bursting The Bubble

One of the hardest things about losing weight is that you can't do it in a bubble.   It would be easy enough to hole-up in the house for a couple months, stock up on pre-portioned meals and workout videos, watch the pounds melt away, reemerge from the house looking all hot, and call it a day. 

If only.

Instead, I constantly struggle to continue living while doing this.  This means that on a daily basis, I have to step out of the diet bubble and interact with real-life people who may or may not be on diets themselves.

Three challenges immediately come to mind:

1)  Not boring people out of their fucking minds.  Let's face it, keeping track of calories, exercising, and then taking the time to sit down, self-reflect, and write about it is really time-consuming.  It has sort of become the center of my little universe.  So when I get together with friends or family members and folks ask, "What's up with you?" it's very difficult to walk the line between giving a brief update and droning on for an uncomfortably long time about, well, keeping track of calories, exercising, and then taking the time to sit down, self-reflect, and write about it.  So, my apologies go out to any of my readers who are also around to hear about this in real life.  I know it's not interesting....and I try to be brief. Honest.

2)  Not wanting to kill everyone who isn't on a diet.  This is one that I am ashamed to admit.  I'd love to be happy for my friends when they go on a McDonalds binge or enjoy a couple courses at a five-star restaurant.  But even though I keep my cool on the outside, on the inside I wanna be like....

Just yesterday, The H and I decided to go on an Urban Hike (well, more like an "Urban Meander" because The H walks really slow and gets easily distracted by shiny things).  And not even two seconds after we get started, he decides that he wants to begin the hike with a couple McDoubles.  

I'm not kidding. I even took pictures so I would have proof. 

Oh, I might have eye-rolled him and made a snide comment about McDonalds being disgusting, but inside I was like

3)  Temptation. Temptation. Temptation.  So after getting over the initial feeling of wanting to murder my friends who have not subjected themselves to the self-inflicted misery of a diet, a second and far more dangerous feeling takes hold: temptation.  

 I do a mental tug-of-war with myself every.single.time. I see someone eating or drinking something that I really wish I were eating or drinking.   Sometimes I find myself dreading social gatherings simply because I am afraid to succumb to the temptation.   I wish I could offer some awesome insight into how to cope with this, but so far I am coming up short.    Playing Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" in my head works to a point.   But usually I just end up going home a little earlier than normal. 

It helps that it's working. Days like today where I reach a new low-point are always exciting and they give me some willpower to overcome temptation because the results are its own reward.   But I would be lying if I said that it wasn't hard. 

But I also would be lying if I didn't say that stepping out of my own little bubble sometimes yields surprising sources of encouragement and inspiration. 

Just this week I've had a friend who read the blog offer to let me tag along to her Pure Barre class (which is apparently, like, the hottest exercise trend among young, female, WOPs right now).  Of course I said yes.  This is like being asked to have lunch with the cool kids. 

Another friend clued me in to an awesome farmer's market that sells huge boxes of locally grown produce for $20.00 (I'll probably buy one and devote an entire post to it). 

A couple others have offered to sign up for next week's 5k with me. 

A couple others asked me to join them in another 5k the week after the first one. 

And in a sign of solidarity, even the cat decided to do weigh-ins.

It's truly humbling and amazing to know that there are people who are following the blog and pulling for me.   Their support means more than they'll ever know, and so does the support of all of you who read this.    Thanks for reading.   

Onward.