Fattle Wounds

Good morning all!   First the good news:




Forgive the sidewaysness.  I haven't quite gotten the hang of doing this from my work PC.

Woo hoooo!!    Three pounds in three days!!   Truly an unsustainable pace for weight loss, but you gotta love those first couple days on a diet where your body is adjusting to not being stuffed to the brim with malted hops and cheese fries (read: you drop a couple pounds practically without even trying).  In any event, I'll take the "W" and declare a sucessful beginning to my march towards holiday sveltness.

This 3 pound step-in-the-right-direction was simply the result of eating 1200 calories a day since Sunday when I had my wake-up call (more on that later).  I regretfully haven't mustered the courage to do the Shred yet.   I did, however, show up at my building today with Lucy and Ricky, completely ready to climb the 20 flights of stairs to my office.   Upon arriving, I learned that the stairs are locked and access is blocked to most people in the building unless there's a fire or some other emergency.  Boo.

Anywho, onto today's post topic:  FATTLE WOUNDS.     Now, I know that in my last post, I said that I would never look back and reflect on why I gained so much weight.  Too pointless.  However, in the last couple of days I have done a lot of reflecting on why I finally decided that NOW was the time to make a change.    I mean, last time the motivation was obvious: I was getting married and there was no way in hell I wanted to walk down the aisle without feeling my best.

This time, there was no huge, built-in goal forcing my hand.  There was really nothing to stop me from just continuing on at a pleasantly plump 161.8 pounds.  Why make the change?

Well, it all boiled down to what I am going to lovingly refer to as Fattle Wounds: body changes and/or injuries relating to my current weight that, frankly, I'd rather never see happen again.

I've boiled them down into the following list.  Warning: some of these Fattle Wounds are accompanied by pictures that are not the prettiest to look at.

1)  Stretch Marks.

These are probably the most obvious Fattle Wounds on the list. Anyone who has ever gotten pregnant, had a growth spurt, gone through puberty or gained weight at some point in their lives has probably had a little experience with stretch marks....and so had I, even before recently.   However, these stretch marks are particularly troublesome because they turned this angry shade of red and look like angry wolves or vicious attack kittens have had their way with my hips.  Not fun. 

2) Thigh Chafing

Don't worry; even I am not going to subject my poor readers to a photo of this.   But I will say one of my biggest wake up calls was just after Hurricane Isaac when I went down to the French Quarter for Southern Decadence.  After about 45 minutes of walking around in the heat and humidity taking in the sights, I began to notice an unfamiliar sensation between my legs---and it was definitely not the same sensation that Traffic Tranny was feeling between hers at the sight of so many half-dressed young gay men.   It was pain. Straight-up pain.

Traffic Tranny

 Upon further examination, I realized that because I had gained so much weight, my thighs were rubbing together and creating a very unpleasant experience.  I thought I'd be clever, so I Googled "How to Stop Thigh Chafing."  Every single websites' first suggestion: lose weight. 

At this point I was feeling pretty low and I think I was almost at the breaking point and ready to consider a change.  But it wasn't enough.   I still thought I could blame this Fattle Wound on the heat or humidity so typical in New Orleans in August.

No, it wasn't until the next Fattle Wound that I finally said, "Enough."

3) Second-Degree Cheese Burn

What you're looking at above, my friends, is a nickle-sized second degree burn that I sustained at the Melting Pot on Saturday night.   Yes, my love of food had actually reached the point where it is injuring me. 

 For those unfamiliar with the Melting Pot, it is a fondue restaurant where you melt various things (cheeses, chocolates, etc.) and dip other things (bread, veggies, cheesecake, etc.) into it.  In my zeal to be the first to dig into the cheesy, melty, goodness of the Wisconsin Trio, I actually suffered a second-degree burn when a huge glob of cheese landed on my chest.  I wanted food so badly that I couldn't even be bothered to blow on the scalding cheese skewer before moving it towards my anxious little mouth.  This Fattle Wound was the result of unfettered gluttony, pure and simple.

So when I woke up the next day, I really started to take stock of my life.   What would my next Fattle Wound be?

"1 Flight of Stairs Asthma Attack?" 

"That's Where My Diabetic Foot Used To Be Ankle Stub?"

"Angry Scar From Getting My Stomach Stapled?"

I mean, sure, I might be getting a little ahead of myself.  But the thought scared me.  How much would I put my body through before deciding enough was enough?  

That's when I decided to go buy a new scale, hit the grocery store for healthy foods, and get back into the blogging.  

And here we are. 

Tomorrow, I confront building management about letting me use the stairs to get to the office.  I figure the 20+ flights hike every morning is a good enough routine to get into.   Wish me luck!