'Tis the Most Blunderful Time of the Year

It's that time, guys. 

"The holidays" are upon us.

Ah, yes.  The holidays.  For most people, this is a joyous time of year filled with celebrating the love of family, the joy of friends, the bounty of life's blessings, the deliciousness that is the flavor of pumpkin, vanilla, and cinnamon, and the sanctity of whatever religious beliefs the person may hold.  Oh, and egg nog....there are apparently some nut jobs out there that enjoy egg nog.

For dieters, however, the holiday season is--for lack of a better term--the suck.

The holiday season begins with Halloween.  Once revered as a day to celebrate the passing of spirits from this world into the next, it's now a day that's dedicated purely to distributing simple carbs (read: candy) to children and adults alike in mass quantities.

For the faint-of-heart dieter, Halloween is the death knell of their self-control and weight loss progress. Not me though. Halloween is my bitch.   Candy has no hold on me.  I could live the rest of my life without eating another candy and still think my life is pretty swell.

So far, so good.  Right?  If I can resist candy on Halloween I surely must have a grasp on getting through the holidays without too much diet-damage, right?  Oh no.  We're just getting started. Halloween is a mere amuse bouche of what's yet to come during the holidays.

Next comes Thanksgiving.....a day where the sole purpose is celebrating by eating foods considerably more decadent, delicious, and tempting than Halloween's stale Smarties.  I mean, anyone who has ever had delicious homemade turkey gravy over a bowl of creamy mashed potatoes knows that Thanksgiving has the potential to be disastrous for a dieter.....particularly a dieter with a penchant for full-fats, salt, and starch.....

This gif is my spirit animal.

I am prepared for the fact that November 28, 2013 (which is Thanksgiving Day proper) will be a day of diet abandonment---which will be followed by Black (and Blue) Friday during which I will workout until my muscles are sore (and bruised if necessary) to burn everything off. 

I feel like that's a fair compromise in a lifestyle change:  1 day of turkey + drippings + butter + starch in exchange for a crazy-huge workout and the promise not to make a habit of it. 

But then come the work-related events.  The Thanksgiving potluck.....(which, while a diet catastrophe, is equally a professional catastrophe if I skipped it)....the office Christmas luncheon...The H's office Christmas party.....the office Dessert Kris Kringle...and other various work-related holiday events that always seem to center on food.    

It's enough to make you heave. 

And let's just say that I have the willpower to avoid the treats...that doesn't stop me from looking like a total and complete asshole and/or Grinch to everyone at work if I continually abstain from the festivities.   Seriously.  Just today at least 20 people looked at my like I was a huge jerk for not having any of the cake at the office "November Birthday Celebration." 

I'm beginning to feel like I am doomed.

So far, my plan is just to workout like crazy, cut back on the holiday items where I can, and hope for some sort of net loss with the worst case scenario being that I simply maintain the weight loss I've already achieved during this holiday season.

But I feel like I need to do better than that.  The brainstorming will commence!