Now that I've accomplished what I originally set out to do and the Lagniappe is so near, I want to compile a list of my biggest take-aways from this in case they help anyone else who is considering losing a bunch of weight (and to have something for me to read if I am ever feeling like I am losing the resolve to continue this as a lifelong change).
1. Exercise is Awesome. Diet foods are the suck. 1200 calories is ridiculously and unsustainably low.
I've lost weight a couple times before. Most notably I lost about 20-30 pounds the summer before I went away to college and I lost 18 pounds for my wedding in 2011. Both times before, I accomplished the feat by dieting almost exclusively. I did a little low-impact walking the second time around, but I was definitely a whore to the 1200-calories-a-day trap.
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| You wouldn't have caught me dead at a gym. |
Both times, I subsisted on diet largely comprised of highly-processed, single-portion, "diet" foods (think Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, Progresso soups, and the like), fruits, veggies, and relatively guilt free snacks like reduced-fat Cheez-its when I felt the urge to "splurge."
The incredibly restrictive food choices were necessary. It was the only way to stick to the insanely low number of calories I was allotted when trying to lose weight through diet alone.
It was effective in the short term.
But it was also stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
No one can live like that forever. No one. It's a life of dreading any special occasion.
"Birthdays? Oh my god, there might be cake there! Work functions? I hope they have a salad! With no cheese. And dressing on the side. Football games? Sigh...I guess I'll bring the veggie tray so there's something I can have. Family dinner at a fancy restaurant? I hope they have plain grilled fish on the menu....."
You know what sucks a million times less than that? Exercising. In fact, exercising doesn't really suck at all. It feels kind of awesome actually.
This time around, instead of being so restrictive with food, I committed to going to the gym for an hour most days. Sometimes I go longer if I know that I want a particularly decadent food that day. The trade off is that I can pretty much eat what I want (within reason). I still track calories because I tend to overdo it if I don't keep a food log, but I am proud to say that I have not eaten a single pre-packaged "diet food" this entire time and I don't plan to ever eat one again.
I am not approaching my goal weight with the mindset that "I can't wait to get back to eating like normal," because I am already eating like normal--just in moderation. I think that will make a huge difference for keeping the weight off.
2. I wish I had taken more pictures.
I have lots of pictures of my toes on the scale---in vastly varied levels of grooming--and I am glad to have those. But I don't have any other pictures showing changes in my size, shape, and muscle tone. I am regretting that in a big way. Come to think of it, I don't even have a toe/scale picture of the heaviest weight: 161.8. I really wish I had that so I could "bookend" this experience.
3. While we're on the subject of pictures.....I regret ever being afraid of the camera.
When I was at my heaviest weight, I avoided the camera like the plague. Come to think of it, on my journey to my heaviest weight I avoided the camera like the plague. I've been avoiding cameras "at my heaviest" when I was 138, 130, 125 pounds (and so forth). As I came down from 161, 150, 145 and reached those previous "heaviest weights" I remember feeling great and looking forward to having my photo taken. It's foolish to be afraid to be photographed because of size. It might be hard, but I am committed to leaving that fear behind.
4. I wish I had taken body measurements.
People always say that "weight is just a number" and it's not the best measure of health or fitness. They cite a ton of different reasons why people set too much store on the number on the scale (muscle weighing more than fat, weight not taking into account cardiac health, water retention affecting weight, etc.). They are correct.
In the last 3-4 weeks my weight has not changed much at all, but I feel like in the last 3-4 weeks I have seen the most actual change to my body than at any other point in this progress. All of a sudden, my size 8 jeans are completely baggy. I am suddenly fitting back into the clothing I wore back when I got married at 123 pounds.
It has been a little discouraging seeing the number on the scale barely move, but I know that at this point it's because I am sculpting and toning my legs, butt, and arms. I seriously regret not taking regular body measurements because while the weight hasn't budged much in the last couple weeks, I know that my measurements surely have. I just wish I knew how much.
5. Harry Potter is the best gym buddy ever.
I've done lots of things to try to pass the time on the treadmill. Television. Surfing the net on the iPad. Listening to music. You name it, I've tried it. For some reason, the thing that made the time pass by the fastest was reading the entire Harry Potter series straight through.
6. I'm glad I got rid of my bigger clothes, but I wish I had kept the biggest thing for reference.
I was cleaning out my closet this weekend. I got rid of everything that's too big. I figure it will be a lot harder to justify gaining weight back if it means buying a completely new wardrobe. While I was cleaning I found a pair of pants that didn't end up in the bonfire the first time I purged my wardrobe of my big clothes. These pants were by no means the largest, but they were close. When I tried them on they looked comically large. I couldn't even believe they used to fit. It made me wish I had saved the absolute largest pair to always be able to look back on how far I've come.
7. I will always love fettucini alfredo and pizza and cheese. And I will never live in a world without them.
I don't care if it means I have to walk 8 miles a day on the highest incline ever. I will have my favorite things because life just isn't as good without them. And I will not apologize for that ever again.
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