Something Strange Has Happened.....

After Saturday's Urban Hike, I swore it was too miserably hot and would never do it again. Not until Fall.

 

So when Madame texted me on Sunday asking if we wanted to try another route....I surprised myself when I agreed.  I almost couldn't believe what I was saying.

 

 

I didn't even begrudgingly agree.  I just sort of decided to go with it, but I stipulated that I wanted a nice, easy route with no wasteland/side-of-the-highway-deathwish-segments of the journey.  

 

Off we went.

 

We walked from my house towards downtown. The goal was to walk to the interstate overpass (about 2 miles from my house) and turn around and come back.

 

But when we reached the overpass....we both just kind of wanted to keep walking.  I can't really describe the feeling...it was like Forrest Gump or something. We just figured we'd made it that far and weren't really tired so why not keep going.

 

So we kept on going.

 

We got all the way to the Jax Brewery in the French Quarter and realized we'd gone over 3.5 miles. At that point we figured it was a good idea to turn around. We took the scenic route along the river levee...

 

 

Much better view than The Wasteland.

And just kept going.

 

We made it back to my house at just under 7.5 miles total.

 

 

And I am not going to lie, by then my leg muscles had reached a new level of sore.  It was weird.  I was almost afraid to stop because I knew the minute I did that it would really, really suck (and it did...I was walking like an idiot the rest of the day).

 

So this morning I did a weigh-in and was, again, pleasantly surprised that the new plan of exercise, lots of water, extra fiber, and not treating Saturdays like an All-You-Can-Eat buffet was really working.

 

 

I tried like 10 times to capture this without the flash screwing things up, but that's 152.8

 

But here's the strangest thing about all of this.  When I woke up this morning, my first thought of the day was that it would be fun to go on another walk tonight.  Me!  Wanting to work out?  Really??? 

 

Maybe in some strange way this is my version of the "runner's high" that everyone talks about.  I've somehow never felt more motivated to do this.

 

I've been keenly aware of the fact that last year when I started this blog, I gave up so abruptly. I've been reading and re-reading those past posts trying to avoid the same mistakes.   I actually happened to notice that when I reached 152.8 last year, it set off about a 2 and a half week yo-yo between 152 and 153.....  I am hell bent on avoiding that this time.

 

This time, it's full steam ahead.  I will only try to be better everyday instead of trying to find ways to cut corners.

 

I'm coming for you, NYC. 

Urban Hiking

One thing that I think I will always struggle with is exercise.  It's just not something that I enjoy.  Most exercises tend to make me look and feel ridiculous, and I just can't get down with the whole "being sore the day(s) afterwards" thing.  Yeah, all told, you're more likely to see a dog walk on its hind legs than catch me at a traditional gym.

The only physical activity that I've ever come close to actually enjoying is walking around outside exploring the city.  Apparently, in the yuppie corners of the world, this is called "urban hiking."  Everyone else who lives in the city just calls it, I dunno, getting around.

Somehow I think suggesting that any of these people try taking up "urban hiking" would end with someone getting their ass kicked.

So anyway, even though it's been hotter than hell lately, I decided to brave the heat index and go "urban hiking."  Luckily for me, Madame was either crazy enough, bored enough, or just plain enjoys exercise enough that he was willing to join me. 

We started out in his house which is decidedly smack dab in the center of New Orleans, and decided to walk to the suburbs where we would reward our efforts with a plunge in my parent's pool (that was the carrot).   Total duration: just a little under 5 miles. 

Now, walking is not the hardest thing to do if you've got good shoes. And I've definitely walked longer distances than that before, but this was the first time doing it in 94 degree heat paired with the kind of choking humidity that you can only understand if you've been to New Orleans in August. 

But off we went!

We started strong....enjoying the sights and smells of New Orleans (I never really noticed just how far the intoxicating smell of Popeye's Fried Chicken travels until yesterday--the answer: a good 6 blocks).   We also enjoyed the vast patches of shade that the live oak trees provide...

....Until the wasteland.   You see, around mile 3 there is a barren tract of wasteland that stretches about 1 mile during which Madame and I essentially were shuffling along the side of a highway like vagrants.  To give you some idea of what we were dealing with I've snapped a picture from Google maps: 

Yup. Imagine us. Walking single file along the side of this highway.

So during this stretch, things got real.  Thank God Madame was there to keep me going. I was so unbelievably hot, sweaty, hungry, needing to pee, etc. that I was ready to take advantage of this being an urban hike and call a cab to pick me up.  

But on we pressed.  Mainly because Madame forced me.  

And finally, at the end of the tract of scary highway, we finally arrived!  The Suburbs!

Now another thing about urban hiking: Madame and I quickly learned that when you're sweaty, disgusting, and carrying a backpack, it's best to stick to truly urban areas and avoid the suburbs.   I am pretty sure the good people of Jefferson Parish assumed that we were transient ne'er-do-wells just looking for someone to pickpocket. 

But on we pressed despite the stares and occasional honking cars. 

And we finally arrived at our oasis!   5 miles, 1.5 hours, and buckets of sweat and Perrier later.....we made it.   And it was actually fun!  Well, maybe not the parts where I thought I'd pass out from a heat stroke on the side of the highway....but otherwise it was fun!

And I gotta hand it to Madame.....he put up with his share of whining, but he kept me going.   A more affable and worthy urban hiking coach has never lived.

And today.......

Yippie, hooray!!

I concluded my daily entry on My Fitness Pal and it told me that if every day were like today, I'd be 146.0 pounds in 5 weeks. 

At that pace, I will reach my 145.0 pound goal by the time I attend my friend's wedding on September 28.    

There's nothing left to do now but find another route and another tract of the city to explore.  All hail the urban hikers!  It's fun!

Who DAT! Who fat?

Alright, so last night I went to the Saints' first preseason game.

First, lets just say that the Saints aren't the only winners after last night:

Who Dat!!!! Another 0.4 pounds down.  At this rate I am feeling pretty awesome about this. CASA is working better than I ever could have dreamed.

But let me also fully confess something: yesterday I stuck to my calorie goal (impressive, in my opinion, considering that stadiums are basically a diet wasteland), but the ONLY reason I did was because instead of having dinner I had 3 giant all-American Bud Lights at the game. 

I know, I know! There are so many things about that that are bad.  Skipping meals is NEVER something I do (just ask The H....I get pretty cranky without 3 squares and some snacks), but my only options were government cheese and chips or a massive pretzel. 

No thanks.  Not worth it. I just kept hearing the chorus of Sinatra's "New York, New York" in my head and couldn't do it. Not for government cheese.

And beer IS made with whole grains, contains antioxidants, does not contain high fructose corn syrup or other additives, and tastes damn good with football.....so it was arguably the most nutritious choice. 

But trust me, I will never make a habit of this....and today will be food-centric and well-balanced. I'm sure 153.8 will just be a memory tomorrow. For now, though, I will bask in the eerie glow of a job well done....even if it wasn't done in the healthiest of ways. =\

TREAT!!!!!!

So this morning I could not resist the urge to indulge in another weigh-in. And I am so glad I did.

 



Boom!

 

Now THAT'S more like it!   A perfectly-hydrated 154.2!  At long last!  Now it doesn't feel like last week was a total waste.

 



 

 

So what does this mean exactly?  Two huge issues come to mind:

 

1) I've now lost 6.4 pounds which means pursuant to the previously discussed Carrot And Stick Approach (which I've decided to call CASA for short), I get to buy myself a treat! Yay! More on that in a minute.

 

2) This is technically no longer week 2....so I guess this loss doesn't count towards the Week 2 Progress Report.  Does that mean that week 2 was still technically a bust?  Does this mean I can enjoy weekend indulgence again like I did last week?  I just can't decide.  I'm gonna go with yes I can and hope for the best.

 

 

Anyway, I gave a lot of thought to what my first treat will be.   And in honor of the first Saints pre-season game, I decided to get myself a little something to help my comply with the NFL's crappy new "bag policy."



For those that may not be aware, the NFL is banning most bags, including purses, from all stadiums this year. Tiny clutches are allowed.  And these ugly plastic see-through bags that I simply cannot rock.

 With no further ado.....my treat:

 



BONUS: Black and gold to represent the team colors.

DOUBLE BONUS: I can justify this by using it to walk from my house to downtown on home game Sundays for tailgating.  Exercise treat!!

Carrots and Sticks

So basically everyone is aware of the old adage of the carrot and the stick, but just in case anyone is unfamiliar, per Lord Wikipedia:

"The Carrot and Stick Approach is an idiom that refers to a policy of offering a combination of rewards and punishment to induce behavior. It is named in reference to a cart driver dangling a carrot in front of a mule and holding a stick behind it. The mule would move towards the carrot because it wants the reward of food, while also moving away from the stick behind it, since it does not want the punishment of pain, thus drawing the cart forward"

As far as this weight loss blog is concerned, I'm the mule. 

My Mom has already tried to entice me with a promise of a trip to NYC if I reach 126 "in as long as it takes."  That's the Big Carrot.

I've promised myself a present every time I lose 5 pounds.  That's some more carrots.

But to my delight, other readers have come forward offering carrots of their own.

For instance, I'm attending the wedding of one reader from Boston (Side bar: This blog's being read in Boston! Next stop, a stint on The View or Good Morning America!) on September 28.   Just today, the Bride contacted me and offered a carrot:  get to 145 by the wedding and I'll get a double quantity of chocolate covered treats in my hotel welcome baggy.  

Not too shabby! I love the offer, even though I know it's a pretty tall order....a little over 10 pounds in a little over 7 weeks?  I'm not sure it can be done--particularly if every week is as craptastic as Week 2 was--but I really like the idea of trying.   And I love the idea of reader-submitted carrots!

But carrots alone will not move pounds off the scale.

Like the mule, I'm too stubborn and too set in my ways to change my lifestyle just for treats. 

Enter the stick.

I don't really like to think of the sticks as "bad things" or "painful things" per se....really the sticks are still there to help me succeed.   Sticks are just little jabs or reminders to keep going...even when it sucks.

The "Big Stick" is this blog itself.....with failure comes shame. Public shame.  No one likes shame, so there's that.

And a classic stick would be something like telling myself to "Lose 2 pounds this week or you have to do the stupid Shred with Jillian Michaels."

But I've had other sticks come in some form or another from readers and other people in my life.

For example, I have a friend who I shall call Madame who scoffed at my likelihood of reaching the Big Carrot and said I'll blow right back up after reaching 126.    Stick.

And I've actually had readers privately messaging me suggesting that I change one thing or another about my diet or exercise routine (and I actually do try to implement the suggestions if they seem reasonable).   Sticks!

I love the idea of this blog becoming an interactive carrot/stick experience. With carrots and sticks I will succeed.

So I pose this request to you, my faithful readers.  Toss me a carrot (or a stick)!  All carrots and sticks will be considered even if they border on the absurd.   The only stipulation is that I am free to: 1) ignore them, 2) write about them, and 3) only vaguely change your name when I say whose carrot or stick it was.

Week 2 Progress Report

 

 

Well, here we are.....the moment of truth.  I promised myself I wouldn't stress about day-to-day fluctuations (yeah.....that totally didn't happen) as long as the net results each week were good.  So here goes nothing.....was all the freaking out about Half-Hannukahs and Damarans worth it?

 

 

Stepped on the scale.....

 

 

Took a deep breath......

 

THE WEEK 2 PROGRESS REPORT:

 



 

 

WEIGHT: 155.8

WEEKLY NET CHANGE: -0.4

 

 

Are you kidding me?!?!  Okay, okay....on the positive side, it's a net loss and not a gain.....and this means I can probably cease my mockery of the major world religions. But 0.4 measly pounds!? 

 

At this rate, global warming will have claimed NYC as the next Atlantis by the time I get to 126.   I will have to re-evaluate my strategies if I have any hope of catching the Book of Mormon before it ends its run on the Great White Way.

 

BMI: Probably exactly the same as last week.....why bother.

 

TOTAL WEIGHT CHANGE: -4.8 LBS

 



Alright, I am going to need to tweak my game plan.  I didn't deviate from the calorie limit a single time this week so that's clearly not the issue.  Perhaps I will see better results this week with these new strategies:

1) Exercise More.

2) Scale back my laissez-faire attitude towards Saturdays as a day where I can splurge  until progress improves.

3) Drink a crap ton of water and ingest more fiber.....not sure why I feel like that will help, but here goes nothing.

4) Presents!!  While The Big Carrot is certainly a powerful goal, I think smaller treats along the way might make it a little easier to stick with this.    From now on I get myself a present for every 5 pounds lost......maybe tomorrow will be my day. =)

I've Got 156.2 Problems.......

What.

The.

FRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!?!??!!?!!?!!?!!?

156.2.

Again.

How? Wha? But...  Just.   Gah!!!!

What did I DO to deserve this?!??!?
 

How can this seriously be happening?!?!??  I have literally not cheated at all.  AT ALL.

At.
All.

I am a woman on a time clock!  Tomorrow is the stupid Week 2 Progress Report and I am going to be signing in to report NOTHING.

Hey! Body! What gives?!?!  It's WEDNESDAY.

 

Not gonna lie....nothing sucks a lot more than dieting, except maybe DIETING FOR SEEMINGLY NO FREAKIN' REASON.

 

Ya know what actually IS down?  Readership.  Cuz, hey, go figure: no one wants to read a weight loss blog written by a person who doesn't freakin' lose weight.

 

 

Stunning Correlation Between Success and Readership

I have a plan for today.  I am going to drink a ton of water and eat more fiber than anyone in the world ever has. And I am going to cross my dainty little fingers and hope that tomorrow shows some movement on the scale.  OR ELSE!